We often want life to be status quo, stable, and predictable. Unfortunately, it isn’t. It is most devastating when life seems so good and suddenly, an unexpected tragedy happens. There are also times when things in life are exactly how we believe they should be, but they later became other than what we had hoped for. These could happen with the untimely death or unforeseen illness of a loved one, the loss of your once sweet child to the consequences of the wrong choices he made, or the breakup of a perfect relationship that you thought was for a lifetime. The pain from these can be so overwhelming that one may feel hopeless about rising up from the ashes. It is during these times that we search deep for answers. We want to know why it happened, why it needed to happen, and why it happened to us. Unfortunately, those questions oftentimes do not get answered because there may not be an answer. We then start looking for someone to blame. That often leaves us unsatisfied and so we turn inwards and start blaming ourselves. When that attempt at finding peace fails, we turn our anger on God.
When you do not understand some things in your life, be assured that you do not have to. Some things in life cannot be explained. Some things happen for no earthly reason. Some questions have no answers. Some mysteries cannot be solved. We need to learn to accept that there are things we could not understand at the moment and that our hearts are unsettled. Accepting does not mean we give up. It means we keep moving forward and be busy living our lives, as we continue the search for answers. Being unsettled is a powerful driver in our search for meaning for our suffering. We may not ever find the answer that satisfies our logic, but if we find purpose for our pain, our suffering would not be in vain. This is the beginning of faith, where we train our hearts to see when our eyes could not.
It is human to be angry, sad, and confused when we are hurting. Blaming God for the most complex and difficult issues in our lives is somehow an admission of our faith. We blame God because we acknowledge that He exists and that He knows everything and has the power to do anything, and yet, He did not save us from the pain. It shows that we believe God loves us but question that if He truly does, why are we in this predicament. This is a good place for us to start. We build our faith on what we believe is true; that God exists, He knows everything, can do anything, and He loves us. At the moment of intense suffering, there is no need to overthink things. This is not the time to find the purpose of your suffering when you are already overwhelmed. Just hold on to what you know about God and passively wait for Him to move your heart. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” and in Psalm 147:13, it says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God knows you are tired and weakened by the onslaught of unfortunate events. He does not require you to go looking for Him. He will find you where you are, and all you will need to do is welcome Him in. From there, watch how the new chapter of your life unfolds and marvel at what God will do.
Suffering draws us closer to God. It reveals to us our inability to rely on ourselves; we are humbled and learn to depend on God. It shows us the importance of faith; we have hope when we trust in God. In 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, St. Paul said, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Being in need allows us to experience the love and goodness of the people around us; we become aware of God’s loving presence because of this. Suffering heightens our sensitivity to the needs of others. As a result, we live less for ourselves and more for them, and this is the beginning of a life of true happiness, peace, and contentment.