This is Chapter 13 from my book, Soul to Soul. Some moments in life leave us with questions that have no easy answers. If you're walking through one of those moments, I hope this chapter brings you comfort. I'm sharing it here in its entirety for anyone who needs it.
We often want life to be status quo, stable, and predictable. Unfortunately, it is not. It is most devastating when life seems so good and suddenly, an unexpected tragedy happens. There are also times when things in life are exactly how we believe they should be, but later become something other than what we had hoped. These may be the untimely death or unforeseen illness of a loved one, the loss of your once sweet child to the consequences of wrong choices he made, or the breakup of a perfect relationship you thought was for a lifetime. The pain from these can be so overwhelming one may feel defeated. It is during these times that we scour for answers. We want to know why it happened, why it needed to happen, and why it happened to us. Unfortunately, those questions often go unanswered because there is not one. We then start seeking someone to blame. That often leaves us unsatisfied, so we turn inward and start blaming ourselves. When that attempt at finding peace fails, we turn our anger on God.
When you do not understand some things in life, be assured that it is not required. There are always things that cannot be explained. Some happen for no reason. Some questions have no answers. Some mysteries cannot be solved. We need to learn to accept that there are things we cannot understand at the moment, and our hearts will be unsettled. Accepting does not mean we give up. It means we keep moving forward and continue living our lives, as we continue the search for answers. Being unsettled is a powerful driver in our search for meaning in our suffering. We may never find the answer that satisfies our logic, but if we find a purpose for our pain, our suffering will not be in vain. This is the beginning of faith, where we train our hearts to see when our eyes cannot.
It is human to be angry, sad, and confused when we hurt. Blaming God for the most complex and difficult issues in our lives is, in a way, an admission of our faith. We blame God because we acknowledge that He exists, He knows everything, with the power to do anything, and yet, He did not save us from the pain. It demonstrates we believe God loves us but question why we are in this predicament if He truly does. This is a good place for us to start. We build our faith on what we believe is true; God exists, knows everything, can do anything, and loves us. In a moment of intense suffering, there is no need to overthink things. When you are overwhelmed, it is not the time to find the purpose for your suffering. Just hold on to what you know about God and patiently wait for Him to calm your heart. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit,” and Psalm 147:13 says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” God knows you are tired and weakened by the onslaught of unfortunate events. He does not require you to go looking for Him. He will find you where you are; all you need to do is welcome Him. From there, watch how the new chapter of your life unfolds
and marvel at what God will do.
Suffering draws us closer to God. It reveals our inability to rely on ourselves; we are humbled and learn to depend on God. It shows us the importance of faith; we find hope when we decide to trust God. In 2 Corinthians 4:7-9, St. Paul said, “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” Being in need allows us to experience the love and goodness of the people around us. This, in turn, reveals God’s loving presence. Suffering heightens our sensitivity to the needs of others. As a result, we live less for ourselves and more for them, and this is the beginning of a life of true happiness, peace, and contentment.